I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
