I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
