if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
