i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
