we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
