I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
