he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
