some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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