im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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