I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
