He had one of those small greek statue penises
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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