So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
