She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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