can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
