porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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