no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
