Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
