guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
