i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
