I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
