Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
