Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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