Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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