She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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