We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
