I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
