so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
