i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
