there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
