none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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