dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
