Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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