I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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