And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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