Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Someone shattered a urinal.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Randomize
