I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
No subtext here. People are naked.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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