i barfeds in our rink
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
