Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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