I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
