He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
