just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
