you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
