she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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