fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize