How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Floor bacon is actually really good
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
