So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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