the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she smelled like a LAN party
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
