That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
