If i come over, it means nothing
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
