it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
