We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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