So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
