ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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