Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Rumble strips road head = magical
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
