I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
