I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
