I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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