he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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