We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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