I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
