So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
