I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize