there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
