Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Randomize
