Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
