you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
