Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
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