guys are not supposed to queef...right?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
