I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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