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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
