Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
