It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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