i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
