well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
