Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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