so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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